Oh, what a total train wreck last week was. I don't know if the stars are at fault, Mercury Retrograde, or simply my stupid assumptions. Frankly, I don't care what it was; I just wanted it over—deep breaths.
It started with tonsilitis that forced me to cancel The Monday Club session with Milka. Then a birthday celebration that I was helping with fell through. The Hang Out Room for the teens went in a different direction than I planned again. It's a beautiful direction that the five teens that showed up will take their group, and I am happy for them; however, that was another thing that didn't go my way last week. So all of this triggered a meltdown, which was to be expected. At least Ukraine won Eurovision and restored some faith in humanity, though the war is still on. Bloody hell, don't start me on that.
Which leads me to this blog post.
How on Earth do we cope with things when they don't go as planned again????
Well, this is what I did: I threw a tantrum, cried in the car park, as you do, I got angry with my husband for ignoring me, screamed my heart out through Eurovision, I resisted throwing in the towel and saying, fuck this shit, I will not do anything, close shop, no one needs me, kind of rhetoric, I accepted that I can't control shit and that some clearing out needs to happen. I stayed curious until the penny dropped last night.
So I cancelled all The Monday Club sessions and The Hang Our Room sessions too. The only thing left is the Q&A with Mr Wang, which comes this Thursday, but I don't keep my hopes too high given how well other things went.
Saskia had a post about the Dandelion Seed:
" it's about letting go of what we no longer need, allowing ourselves to fearlessly fully open...it's about blowing our wishes out into the universe without clinging to the outcome whilst remaining connected to Earth.
It is time to birth a new reality, but first, we must release ALL that no longer serve us..." Saskia Marjoram
And I know you probably heard it all before, but I will say it again.
Things do go according to plan, but they always go where they need to be.
Trust is needed. Osho said:
"Remember: one has to take the jump, even when there is doubt." Osho
I would be lying if I said that I figured everything out. No, I haven't. I am just willing to walk the path, try, fail, stumble, raise, walk, cry, and laugh.
I wish to thank all the fellow travellers walking along the way or in the ring with me, scraping their knees, sometimes face down, as Brene Brown says. You inspire me not to give up, to try again and again. I know I am not alone in this.
What comes next for me, you will have to wait and see :)
From my heart, Nora